Gone to the Beach!

I have successfully packed the entire house and we are off to Litchfield until Friday!! Hopefully I will have some good beach pictures when I return!

All Grown Up!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful mother! You are so beautiful and such an inspiration to me. You have been the best mother to me and now the greatest Nina in the world! We just love you so much and celebrate you everyday! We hope you have a wonderful day and know how very loved you are today and everyday! xoxoxoxo

So Sweet....

I came across this poem from a friend of a friend's blog, and just had to put it on mine. It is so sweet and speaks so many words for babies lost. It is very touching and uplifting for anyone who has lost a baby. I just thought it was too sweet not to share with everyone.

An Angel Never Dies
Don't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart,
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I loved you from the start.
Although my body, you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone.
This world was worthy, not, of me,
God Chose that I move on.
I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.
You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes."
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.
I'm watching over all you do,
another child you'll bear.
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,and then you'll understand.
Although, Ive never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes,
That doesn't mean I never "was"....
~AN ANGEL NEVER DIES~

Wright and Will!

Wright Collins came to visit us this morning and he is just adorable! Will loved seeing him and they were very cute together!

Backyard Fun!

Will loves his new Jump n' Slide Castle that Nina and Pop Pop gave him! Nina gave it to him as an early b-day present because the weather is so nice and she wanted him to enjoy it before it got too hot! He thinks it is great and I foresee many afternoons in the backyard with this!!

Durham also came by this afternoon for some play time! These boys have so much fun together and I just love watching them play! Watching them grow up together has been great!

Enjoying the Weather!

We took advantage of the beautiful weather and took Will to explore around the pond in our neighborhood! Of course, keeping him out of the pond was the challenge!! Luckily, we will be heading over to Nina and Pop Pops for a swim as soon as he wakes up from his nap!

The Sweet Innocence of a Child!

This was the conversation Will and I had at the playground today:

Will: Mommy, do you have another baby in there? (pointing at my stomach)

Mommy: No, not yet?

Will: Are you going to get one tomorrow?

Mommy: Not tomorrow, but hopefully very soon.

Will: Can I kiss your bellybutton?

Mommy: Why do you want to kiss my bellybutton?

Will: So you can get another baby!

What a sweet boy!! I let him kiss my bellybutton and told him that it would definitely help me get another baby! I just thought I would share this very cute story and I wanted to make sure I recorded it so I would always remember!

Weekend in Edisto!

Thank you, Chris and Ariail, for a wonderful weekend in Edisto! We really needed a weekend away and had a great time! We all enjoyed ourSaturday on the boat, and Will loved being with Durham all weekend! We so appreciate you having us at your wonderful house!










Uncle Chris with both his assistants!!















Will having so much fun splashing in the ocean!















Aunt Ariail,Daddy and Durham all laughing at Will who thought spraying himself and everyone else with water was so funny!

Happy Birthday, Casey!

Wishing Casey a very happy Birthday!! Will sends you lots of hugs and kisses!

Happy Mother's Day!

Thank you, Will, for making me a mom! I love you so very much and can't imagine my life without you! You are my sweet boy and I cherish every moment with you!

Wishing my Mom the best day ever! You are such a great mother, friend, and grandmother! I love you so much and know how blessed I am everyday to have you as a mother. There is no gift in the world that could repay you for the mother you have been to me for the past 29 years. I love you will all my heart and thank you for everything!!

Happy Mother's Day to Barbara (aka Gamma)! I know Pat would post one for you if he had a blog, so I thought I would do it for him!! We love you!



Happy Mother's Day to all the other mom's out there!!

Happy Birthday, Gamma!

We love you and hope you have a wonderful Birthday!! Sending lots of hugs and kisses your way!xoxo

Happy Anniversary, Aunt Ariail and Uncle Chris!!

Happy Birthdays!

Happy Birthday, Great Grandpa Racker! We hope you had a wonderful day!

Also..Happy Birthday, Amanda! Hope you got lots of hugs and kisses from sweet Charlie!!

3 minutes!

3 minutes...that is all the time my sweet boy needs unattended to completely destroy something! He was on the back porch playing with the dogs, so I went inside to talk to my mom on the phone. I started to realize how quiet Will had gotten, so I walked outside to find this......













He managed to pluck every branch off of the fake tree in that little bit of time. I asked him what he was doing and he said "he was making a cage for Aiken and Scout." Guess it is a good thing I wasn't real attached to the tree...looks like it will be going to street trash for pick up!

Moving Forward

Looking at my sweet Will this morning before his Daddy took him off to school reminded me of all the things I have to be grateful for. This week has been awful with a rollercoaster of emotions filled with confusion, hurt, anger and sadness. Waiting for the D&C procedure was terrible and I didn't feel like I could let go until that was done. My mind and heart could not let go of something that I felt was still with me. Now that the procedure is done, I feel like I can finally start to let go and move forward. Losing a baby is terrible and something so many women have to go through. I am a true believer that God does have plan and is only sparing us pain and heartache in the future, but it is still very hard to understand when it is happening to you. There will always be a place in my heart for this baby that was not meant to be, and I plan to take this love and use it for strength.

I want to thank my sweet mother who has stepped in and taken care of my family while I couldn't. Thank you for being there for Will and taking such good care of him. Thank you for making sure Pat was fed and all his clothes were washed. And, most of all, thank you for holding my hand, kissing my cheeks, and wiping my tears away. Words cannot express my gratitude for all you have done. I could not have gotten through this without you. Thank you to my Dad for loving me and letting Mom give all her spare time to me.

Thank you, Pat, for being such a loving husband. Thank you for understanding the time I needed to heal and for also taking such good care of Will. Thank you for your love and support and your sweet kisses.

My sweet Will, thank you for all the hugs and kisses you have given to me this week. Your sweet face gives me the strength to get out of bed just so I can watch you. You are so special and I thank god for you everyday. One day, you will be the best big brother.

Thank you, Chris and Ariail, for being so supportive. Thank you for letting Will come play with Durham so my mom could have a little break. Ya'll have been great and we appreciate it.

Thank you to Kim, and Kendall and Emily for the beautiful flowers to brighten up my dark room. Thank you to Lori for coming over and playing with Will.

Thank you to all my wonderful friends who have called and left emails for me. Thank you for all the prayers. Knowing you are all there for me is so comforting. I am blessed with such wonderful family and friends. I will grow from this and I really appreciate all the support. I love you all.

Life and Loss

I will never regret my decision to tell the world my exciting news of having another baby as soon as I found out. That was my decision and I wanted everyone to share in the excitement with me. I do, however, regret that I now have to share the devastating news that somewhere in the last two weeks we lost our little heartbeat. It seems that this baby was not meant to be. The baby was not developing properly and no heartbeat could be found at my appointment yesterday. This was a total blow to someone who thought this could never happen to them and I am feeling so much loss. Three months of growing a baby can make you very attached, and it is very hard to let go. My sweet Will came to my room late yesterday afternoon to give me a hug and kiss, (he doesn't know yet), and he kissed my stomach and said "I want to kiss the baby!" How do you tell a two year old news like this. The good thing is that he soon will forget and hopefully never remember this later in life. I have always believed that sharing a pregnancy early with friends and family was good because if something bad did happen, I would have lots of support. Little did I know that I would actually be living it. So, I feel much comfort in the fact that when I am ready I will have wonderful friends to lean on.