Life and Loss

I will never regret my decision to tell the world my exciting news of having another baby as soon as I found out. That was my decision and I wanted everyone to share in the excitement with me. I do, however, regret that I now have to share the devastating news that somewhere in the last two weeks we lost our little heartbeat. It seems that this baby was not meant to be. The baby was not developing properly and no heartbeat could be found at my appointment yesterday. This was a total blow to someone who thought this could never happen to them and I am feeling so much loss. Three months of growing a baby can make you very attached, and it is very hard to let go. My sweet Will came to my room late yesterday afternoon to give me a hug and kiss, (he doesn't know yet), and he kissed my stomach and said "I want to kiss the baby!" How do you tell a two year old news like this. The good thing is that he soon will forget and hopefully never remember this later in life. I have always believed that sharing a pregnancy early with friends and family was good because if something bad did happen, I would have lots of support. Little did I know that I would actually be living it. So, I feel much comfort in the fact that when I am ready I will have wonderful friends to lean on.